"You might be an engineering major..." joke
1. If you have no life - and you can prove it mathematically.2. If you enjoy pain.3. If you know vector calculus but you can't remember how to do long division.4. If you chuckle whenever anyone says "centrifugal force."5. If you've actually used every single function on your graphing
calculator.6. If it is sunny and 70 degrees outside, and you are working on a computer.7. If you frequently whistle the theme song to "MacGyver."8. If you always do homework on Friday nights.9. If you know how to integrate a chicken and can take the derivative of water.10. If you think in "math."11. If you've calculated that the World Series actually diverges.12. If you hesitate to look at something because you don't want to break down its wave function.13. If you have a pet named after a scientist.14. If you laugh at jokes about mathematicians.15. If the Humane society has you arrested because you actually performed the Schrodinger's Cat experiment.16. If you can translate English into Binary. 17. If you can't remember what's behind the door marked "exit" in the computing center.18. If you have to bring a jacket with you in the middle of summer because there's a wind-chill factor in the lab.19. If you are completely addicted to caffeine.20. If you avoid doing anything because you don't want to contribute to the eventual heat-death of the universe.21. If you consider ANY non-science course "easy." 22. If when your professor asks you where your homework is, you claim to have accidentally determined its momentum so precisely, that according to Heisenberg it could be anywhere in the universe.23. If the "fun" center of your brain has deteriorated from lack of use.24. If you'll assume that a "horse" is a "sphere" in order to make the math easier.25. If you understood more than five of these indicators.26. If you make a hard copy of this list, and post it on your door.
Person 1: Knock, Knock
Person 2: Who's there?
Person 1: Cows go.
Person 2: Cows go who?
Person 1: No, silly! Cows go moo!
A man arrives at the gates of heaven. St. Peter asks, "Religion?" The man says, "Methodist." St. Peter looks down his list, and says, "Go to room 24, but be very quiet as you pass room 8."
Another man arrives at the gates of heaven. more...
A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5kg weight loss program.
The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her more...
Q:what did god say when the first black person came to heaven?
A:oops I must of burnt one!!
Arnold Schwartzinagor has a long one
Michael J. Fox has a short one
Madonna doesn't have one and
Bill Clinton uses his a lot
What is "it"?
A last name!
Now what were you thinking?