"There were these 2 VERY old..." joke

Hot 2 years ago

There were these 2 VERY old people celebrating their 60th wedding anniversary. A friend of theirs recommended they use his cabin for the weekend and they agreed. The first morning they are there, the husband notices a canoe tied up at the shore and he asks his wife, "Do you want to go for a canoe ride?". She agrees. They get into the canoe and paddle for a while until they find a river. They go down the river until they get to a fork. The husband looks at his wife and says "up or down?". Her answer is to throw him on the bottom of the boat and make mad passionate love to him. They get done and head back to the house. The next morning, the husband looks at his wife and says, "So...wanna go for a canoe ride?". She agrees. The husband, of course, finds the river again and when they get to the fork, he looks at his wife and says "Up or down??". She says "Up." He says "WHAT? I asked you that yesterday and...YOU know." Her eyes grow wide and she says "OH, I had my hearing aid turned down, I thought you said fuck or drown!"

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An atheist was taking a walk through the woods, admiring all that the "accident of evolution" had created.
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A man had just been laid off from work. He was standing on the railing of a high bridge getting read to jump off, when he happened to look down and see a little man with no arms dancing all around on the river bank below.
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There were 2 rednecks that lived on opposite sides of the river. One was named Clearance and the other Billy.
They would always threaten to beat the crap out of each other, but said they couldn't because the river was keeping them from getting to each other.
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Holy Man lives in a house close to the river. It rains for a couple days, the river comes up and starts to flood his house. A man in a 4-wheel drive pick-up truck stops to pick him up. The Holy Man wouldn't leave. He said God would save him. A couple hours later Holy Man is on more...

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