"3 men captured by a fierce back-country tribe" joke
A Frenchman, an Englishman and a New Yorker were captured by a fierce back-country tribe during the colonial times in the United States.
The tribal chief comes to them and says, "The bad news is that now that we've caught you we're going to kill you, and then use your skins to make a canoe. The good news is that you get to choose how to die."
The Frenchman says, "I take ze poison". The chief gives him some poison extracted from local berries. The Frenchman says "Viva la France!" and drinks it down.
The Englishman says, "A pistol for me, please". The chief gives him a old pistol. He points it at his head, says, "God save the queen!", and blows his brains out.
The New Yorker says, "Gimme a fork". The chief is puzzled, but he shrugs his shoulders and gives him a fork. The New Yorker takes the fork and starts rapidly jabbing himself all over his stomach, his ribs, his chest, his backside, everywhere. There's blood gushing out all over, it's a horrible sight.
The native chief is appalled, and screams, "What are you doing?"
The New Yorker looks at the chief and says "So much for your damn canoe, jerk"
One day a little boy over heard his parents in the bedrooom arguing,"You bitch, your cunt is too hairy! Whell your dick is to small bastard!"The boy was curious about these new words so he went in the room and asked what they meant. The startled parents did their best more...
A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...
A professor is someone who talks in someone else's sleep.
A stone was placed at a ford in a river with the inscription:
"When this stone is covered it is dangerous to ford here."
Q. Why does the wind blow from the north in Indiana?
A. Kentucky sucks.