"Chuck Norris' beard" joke
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made
with real lemons?
A couple of hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can more...
A guy walks in and sits down at a bar. The side of his face is bruised and bleeding so the bartender asks, "What in the world happened to you, buddy?"
The guy says "Oh, I got in a fight with my girlfriend and I called her a two-bit more...
I farted in an elevator yesterday... it was wrong on so many levels.
Air travel: Breakfast in London, dinner in New York, luggage in Brazil.