"The redneck at the whorehouse" joke
A redneck has five bucks and is horny, so he thinks to himself, "Maybe I'll go to that whorehouse I've been hearin' so much 'bout." The redneck walks in, approaches a very burlesque, good-looking woman and says, "I've got 5 bucks, give me your best."
The man is immediately escorted to a room with a mirror, a couch, and a chicken in the corner. The woman shuts the door. The man reluctantly takes the chicken and finishes his business. He then realized that that was the best sex he'd ever had.
The following week, the man brings $10 of his hard earned money, and offers it to the woman. He is the whisked off in to a small room with a few benches and a double sided mirror. The small room quickly fills with men and women alike.
Two women walk into the room that the people are viewing. The two lesbians then proceed to make love on the table.
The redneck nudges the man next to him and exclaims, "Damn, for 10 bucks, this is damn good." The man then chuckles and says, "You should have been here last week, we had a man screwing a chicken."
Person 1: Knock, Knock
Person 2: Who's there?
Person 1: Cows go.
Person 2: Cows go who?
Person 1: No, silly! Cows go moo!
A man arrives at the gates of heaven. St. Peter asks, "Religion?" The man says, "Methodist." St. Peter looks down his list, and says, "Go to room 24, but be very quiet as you pass room 8."
Another man arrives at the gates of heaven. more...
A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5kg weight loss program.
The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her more...
Q:what did god say when the first black person came to heaven?
A:oops I must of burnt one!!
Arnold Schwartzinagor has a long one
Michael J. Fox has a short one
Madonna doesn't have one and
Bill Clinton uses his a lot
What is "it"?
A last name!
Now what were you thinking?