"Sunny mistake..." joke
My wife shouted upstairs, "The sun's just come out."
I thought great, threw on some shorts and flip flops and shot down the stairs.
I was rather shocked when I got down to find our lad holding hands with his mate Michael.
I was chatting up a girl last night. I said, "Is your dad a thief?"
She said, "Why, because he stole the stars and put them in my eyes?"
I said, "No, because you're a scouser."
My girlfriend asked, "Do you want to get married?"
I said, "Sure."
She said, "Great, when?"
I said, "Well like every other guy, when I meet the right girl."
I was ice-skating today just minding my own business when I noticed some big fat bird kept giving me the eye.
Eventually she came over. "Hi there, I'm a bit shy I'm not very good at breaking the ice," she laughed.
"Have you tried jumping?" I asked.
Come on you miserable bastards were some colours
Nan stop were at a funeral