"Parents' Bathroom Rules" joke

The bathroom door is closed. Please do not stand here and talk, whine, or ask questions. Wait until I get out. Yes, it is locked. I want it that way. It is not broken, nor am I trapped.

I know that I have left it unlocked at times, and even open at times, once you were born, because I was afraid some horrible tragedy might occur while I was there, but it's been 10 years and I want some privacy.

Do not ask me how long I will be. I will come out when I am done.

Do not bring the phone to the bathroom door. Do not go running back to the phone yelling, "He's in the BATHROOM!"

Do not begin to fight as soon as I go in.

Do not stick your little fingers under the door and wiggle them. This was funny when you were two.

Do not slide pennies, Legos, or notes under the door. Even when you were two, this got to be a little tiresome.

Do not let the dog/cat in because you think he/she "misses me."

If you have followed me down the hall talking, and are still talking as you face this closed door, please turn around, walk away, and wait for me in another room. I will be glad to listen to you when I am done.