"Frivilous Law Suits By Us Jailbirds" joke

A Virginia inmate tried to sue himself for $5 million on the grounds that he had gotten drunk and caused himself to violate his religious beliefs by committing a crime. Because he had no money, he wanted the state to pay the $5 million.

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A San Quentin death row inmate sued California, claiming his civil rights were violated because his packages were sent via UPS rather than the U. S. Postal Service.

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An Oklahoma inmate alleged his religious freedoms were violated but could not say just how, because the main tenet of his faith was that all its practices were secret.

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A Nevada inmate sued when he ordered two jars of chunky peanut butter at the Nevada State Prison canteen and received one chunky and one creamy.

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An Ohio inmate sued for being denied possession of soap on a rope.

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A convicted New York rapist sued the state, claiming he lost sleep and suffered headaches and chest pains after being given a "defective haircut" by an unqualified barber.

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An Oklahoma inmate sued because he was forced to listen to country music.

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An Arizona inmate sued when he was not invited to a pizza party that prison employees held for a guard leaving his job.

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A Colorado con sued for early release because "everyone knows a con only serves about three years of a 10-year sentence."

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An Indiana prisoner sued because he wanted to obtain Regain for his baldness.