"Baked Beans" joke
Once upon a time there lived a woman who had a maddening passion for
baked beans. She loved them but unfortunately they had always had a
very embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction to her.
Then one day she met a guy and fell in love. When it became apparent
that they would marry she thought to herself, "He is such a sweet
and gentle man, but he would never go for this carrying on."
So she made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans. Some months
later her car broke down on the way home from work. Since she lived
in the country she called her husband and told him that she would
be late because she had to walk home. On her way she passed a small
diner and the odor of the baked beans was more than she could stand.
Since she still had miles to walk, she figured that she would walk
off any ill effects by the time she reached home.
So, she stopped at the diner and before she knew it, she had
consumed three large orders of baked beans. She putt-putted all the
way home, and upon arriving home she felt reasonably sure she could
control any lingering effects.
Her husband seemed excited to see her and exclaimed delightedly,
"Darling, I have a surprise for dinner tonight."
He then blindfolded her and led her to her chair at the table. She
seated herself and just as he was about to remove the blindfold from
his wife, the telephone rang. He made her promise not to touch the
blindfold until he returned. He then went to answer the phone.
The baked beans she had consumed were still affecting her and the
pressure was becoming almost unbearable, so while her husband was
out of the room she seized the opportunity, shifted her weight to
one leg and let it go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a
rotten egg gone worse.
When her husband returned, he instructed her to remove her
blindfold. And when she did, 50 people around her said "Surprise!"
Not enough votes...