"A Retiring Boss" joke

A retiring boss wanted everyone to express their good feeling about him by writing on the farewell card on his farewell party.

He could then remember how his staff "missed" him. Most staff members were writing standard phrases like, "Without you, the company will never be the same," "We will always remember you," etc.
The boss was not satisfied and asked, "I need something from the bottom of your heart... Peter, you have been working with me for the last 40 years. You are my best staff. What do you have to say?"
Slowly but firmly, Peter wrote, "The best news in 40 years."

"How I Met Your Mother", is the story Chuck Norris tells to everybody.

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For those of you who question whether you are in love, in lust, or really married, the following descriptions may help to clear things up.
Love - When intercourse is called - making love.
Lust - When intercourse is called - screwing.
Marriage - What's more...

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A American guy named Paul challenged a Filipino
American: use my name four times in a sentence
Filipino: Paul be carePaul you mightPaul in the swimmingPaul

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A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning. The first of the twosome teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.
Indeed, the ball hit one of the men, and he immediately clasped his hands more...

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Chuck Norris can gargle peanut butter.

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