Preparing for her wedding night, the bride-to-be asked her mother to go out and buy her a sexy, long, black negligee and place it carefully in her suitcase so it wouldn't get wrinkled. Her mother forgot, so at the last minute dashed out, but all she could find was a short pink nighty. She bought it, rushed home and quickly threw it in her daughter's suitcase.
After the wedding, the newlyweds went to their hotel room. The groom was very self-conscious so he asked his bride to change in the bathroom and promise not to peek while he got himself ready for bed.
Agreeing, the bride went into the bathroom, opened her suitcase and saw the negligee her mother had thrown in it. "Oh no," she shrieked, "it's short, pink and wrinkled!"
"Honey, you promised not to peek!" the groom exclaimed.
The Wrinkled Nightgown
A man and wife were celebrating their 50-year anniversary, so the man
bought his wife a $250 see-through nightgown. Later that night she was
getting ready for bed and realized the nightgown was still in the box
downstairs. Walking naked through the house, she passed her husband who
My word, for $250 they could've at least ironed it!"
The wrinkled old crone got on the train and, exhausted, retired to her bed, which was the upper berth in a sleeper car.
Shortly after falling asleep, the woman was awakened by loud snoring from the lower berth. She tried wrapping the blankets around her head, but to no avail; finally she kicked her heels on the mattress. Moments later a man's voice came from below.
"Save your energy," he said. "I got a good look at you when you came on board."
A scouser was touring the USA on holiday and stopped in a remote bar in the hills of Nevada. He was chatting to the bartender when he spied an old Indian sitting in the corner. He had tribal gear on, long white plaits, wrinkled face.
"Who's he?" asked the scouser.
"That's the Memory Man." said the bartender.
"He knows everything, remembers everything. He can remember any fact he experiences. Go and try him out."
So the scouser goes over, and thinking he won't know about English football, asks "Who won the 1965 FA Cup Final?".
"Liverpool" replies the Memory Man.
"Who did they beat?"
"Leeds" was the instant reply.
"And the score?"
"2-1" "Who scored the winning goal?" "Ian St. John" was the old man's reply, without a hint of hesitation.
The scouser was knocked out by this and told everyone back home about the Memory Man when he got back. A more...
What is old, wrinkled, and hangs out your underwear? Your Mother...