Urinate Jokes / Recent Jokes

Three old men are sitting on the porch of a retirement home. The first says, "Fellas, I got real problems. I'm seventy years old. Every morning at seven o'clock I get up and I try to urinate. All day long I try to urinate. They give me all kinds of medicine but nothing helps." The second old man says, "You think you have problems. I'm eighty years old. Every morning at 8:00 I get up and try to move my bowels. I try all day long. They give me all kinds of stuff but nothing helps." Finally the third old man speaks up, "Fellas: I'm ninety years old. Every morning at 7:00 sharp I urinate. Every morning at 8:00 I move my bowels. Every morning at 9:00 sharp I wake up."

Three old men are sitting on the porch of a retirement home. The first says:
"Fellas, I got real problems. I'm seventy years old. Every morning at seven
o'clock I get up and I try to urinate. All day long I try to urinate. They give
me all kinds of medicine but nothing helps."
The second old man says: "You
think you have problems. I'm eighty years old. Every morning at 8:00
I get up and try to move my bowels. I try all day long. They give me all
kinds of stuff but nothing helps."
Finally the third old man speaks up:
"Fellas: I'm ninety years old. Every morning at 7:00 sharp I urinate.
Every morning at 8:00 I move my bowels. Every morning at 9:00 sharp I
wake up."

Three old men are sitting on the porch of a retirement home. The first says, "Fellas, I got
real problems. I'm seventy years old. Every morning at seven o'clock I get up and I try to
urinate. All Day long I try to urinate. They give me all kinds of medicine but nothing helps."
The second old man says, "You think you have problems. I'm eighty years old. Every
morning at 8: 00 I get up and try to move my bowels. I try all day long. They give me all
kinds of stuff but nothing helps."
Finally the third old man speaks up, "Fellas: I'm ninety years old. Every morning at 7: 00
sharp I urinate. Every morning at 8: 00 I move my bowels. Every morning at 9: 00 sharp I
wake up."

Mrs. Flebs, a teacher, was standing in front of her class. It was the beginning of the new school year. Mrs. Flebs said, "Okay class, we're going to go around the room and have everybody say a sentence. We'll start with Sarah."
Sarah said, "Cows have spots."
Terrence said, ''Baseball is a sport."
Carla said, "Computers are electronic."
Bobby said, "Urinate."
Mrs. Flebs said, "Bobby, urinate is a word, not a sentence."
Bobby said, "Not urinate, it's you're an eight. And if you had bigger tits you'd be a ten."

Little BILLY was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he needed to go to the bathroom. He yelled out,"Miss Jones, I need to take a piss!!" The teacher replied, " Now, BILLY, that is NOT the proper word to use in this situation. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate'. Please use the word 'urinate' in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you to go. Little BILLY, thinks for a bit, then says, " You're an eight, but if you had bigger boobs, you'd be a TEN!"

Three old men are sitting on the porch of a retirement home. The first says, "Fellas, I got real problems. I'm seventy years old. Every morning at seven o'clock I get up and I try to urinate. All day long I try to urinate. They give me all kinds of medicine but nothing helps."
The second old man says, "You think you have problems. I'm eighty years old. Every morning at 8: 00 I get up and try to move my bowels. I try all day long. They give me all kinds of stuff but nothing helps."
Finally the third old man speaks up, "Fellas: I'm ninety years old. Every morning at 7: 00 sharp I urinate. Every morning at 8: 00 I move my bowels. Every morning at 9: 00 sharp I wake up."