Tarmac Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A motorway walks into a pub one day. He goes up to the bar and orders himself a drink. He just sits down when in walks a strip of tarmac. The motorway sees the tarmac and starts to panic so he jumps over the bar and ducks down so it won't see him. The barman looks down at him and says, "What's the matter with you? Why are you hiding? You've got six lanes and two hard shoulders. Why are you frightened of a piece of tarmac? The motorway replies, "You don't know him like I do. He's a cyclepath."

    Taxiing down the tarmac

    Hot 4 months ago

    Taxiing down the tarmac, the jetliner abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate. After an hour-long wait, it finally took off. A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, "What was the problem?""The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine," explained the flight attendant, "and it took us a while to find a new pilot."

    DOS Air: Passengers walk out onto the runway, grab hold of the plane,
    push it until it gets in the air, hop on, then jump off when it hits
    the ground. They grab the plane again, push it back into the air, hop
    on, jump off...
    Mac Airways: The cashiers, flight attendants, and pilots all look the
    same, talk the same, and act the same. When you ask them questions
    about the flight, they reply that you don't want to know, don't need
    to know, and would you please return to your seat and watch the movie.
    Windows Airlines: The terminal is neat and clean, the attendants
    couteous, the pilots capable. The fleet of Lear jets the carrier
    operates is immense. Your jet takes off without a hitch, pushes above
    the clouds and, at 20,000 feet, explodes without warning.
    OS/2 Skyways: The terminal is almost empty - only a few prospective
    passengers mill about. The announcer says that a flight has just
    departed, although no planes appear to be on the more...

    There are two pieces of tarmac sitting by the side of the bar, and they are having a drinking contest, to see which one is the hardest.
    After 12 shots of vodka, both pieces of tarmac are still unfazed, when suddenly the door opens and a red piece of tarmac walks in.
    Upon which seeing the red piece of tarmac, one piece of tarmac runs into the john.
    An hour later, he ventures out and discovers that the red piece of tarmac has left, so he ventures out and upon seeing the other piece of tarmac, he is asked why he ran off.
    To this he replies ''Haven't you heard about him?, He's a CYCLE-PATH !!!''

    A motorway walks into a pub one day. He goes up to the bar and orders himself a drink. He just sits down when in walks a strip of tarmac. The motorway sees the tarmac and starts to panic so he jumps over the bar and ducks down so it wont see him. The barman looks down at him and says, "Whats the matter with you? Why are you hiding? Youve got six lanes and two hard shoulders. Why are you frightened of a piece of tarmac? The motorway replies, "You dont know him like I do. Hes a cyclepath."

  • Recent Activity