Premadasa Jokes / Recent Jokes

President JR and PM Premadasa died on the same day and they were sent to APAAYA (Hell) for punishment for the sins they have commited during their ruling the country. On the way to APAAYA Premadasa said to JR "Sir, shall we take some gifts to YAMA RAJJURUWO (The king of the hell). JR replied "Through out your life you were taking bribes from poor people and now you are thinking of bribing YAMA RAJJURUWO too. I do not like your idea"
Then Premadasa said to JR "Sir, you do not know the brutality of the punishments in the hell. If we take something YAMA RAJJUROWO will give us some simple punishments." Ultimately JR agreed to take some gift to YAMARAJJURUWO.
While they were walking through the path to the hell they saw a vegetable/fruit market and Premadasa said "Sir, shall we take some DURIAN (A local fruit)" Then JR said are you mad? why should we spend too much for this? If you really need let us take 2 lemons" Premadasa ultimately more...

One evening Premadasa is jogging at the Independannce Square Sports Grounds. He sees this beaytiful
whore at the bus stop near the other end og the jogging track and approaches her.
"How much?" asks Premadasa.
"Hundred and fifty ruppees." comes the reply.
"Damn too much, Ten ruppees?" suggests Prem.
"Hundred and Fifty" the lady won't budge. So Prem goes away jogging.
The next evening he sees the same woman at the bus stop.
"How much?" asks Prem thinking that he will get a better deal today.
"Hundred and fifty ruppees." comes the reply.
"No no, too much, Ten ruppees?" suggests Prem.
"Hundred and Fifty" the lady again won't budge. So Prem goes away jogging.
The third evening Hema joins Prem for a jog. Both are jogging along the track and Prem sees the lady
again. This time Prem ignores her (because of the obvious reason that Hema is with him) and more...

At a world conference, during liesure time the world leaders met in the SAUNA.
Amoung them were John Major of Britain Bill Clinton from the
USA & Premadasa from Sri Lanka.
Suddenly there was a ring tone - John Major raised his hand to his ears and started talking - later said that he has a cell phone embeded in his palm.
Few minutes later - there was a BEEP - Bill Clinton stood up - pressed his thigh and said - I have a pager in my thigh.
WOW - Premadasa was totally confused about the HI TECH. He thought for awhile and proceeded to the washroom.
He appeared with a piece of toilet paper jutting out of his BUTT CRACK - the other leaders started to chuckle and pointed out the toilet paper.
Premadasa calm as ever proceeded to his seat - and informed the gathering - dont get excited I am getting a FAX msg.

Do you know how Premadasa selected Hema for marraige.

One day he took Hema to his room and both got naked.
Premadasa pointed to his willy and asked "do you know
what this is?" Hema said "meeya". Premadasa made love
to her several times and later decided to marry her.
On honeymoon night Premadasa says "I decided to marry
you becuase you didn't even know what this is, so you
have been a very good girl.. .. and the name of this
thing is payiya." Hema says "Ohh, payiya, I have seen
hundereds of those, in fact last night I had your
bestman's payiya in all my holes. Payi have to be more
that 3 inches long. This your thing is still a meeya".