Paranoid Jokes / Recent Jokes

Just because you are paranoid doesn`t mean people aren`t out to get you!

What did the paranoid TV say? I think I'm being watched!

I wouldn't be paranoid if everyone didn't pick on me.

Online dating is huge now. Everyone from EHarmony to Match.com have been benefitting from the surge in personals. But impersonal nature of online personals need a little clarifying. Below you'll find a guide to better enable yourself "Find That Special Someone"
Female
Beautiful Bulgarian girl = I need a green card
Beautiful Ukranian girl = I need a green card
Beautiful Romanian girl = I need a green card....possibly a gypsy
I love doing yoga and running with my dog = a really good lay
Athletic = No tits
Spends too much time at work / Work Hard = I'm cheating on you and we haven't even met
Beautiful = Pathological liar
Contagious Smile = Takes a lot of pills
Emotionally Secure = On medication / Frequent Psychiatric Visits
Feminist = Fat
Free spirit = Junkie / Hippie
Hopeless romantic = Wants a Ring
Friendship first = Former slut
Fun = Annoying
New-Age = Body hair in the wrong places
very goal oriented = She more...