I'm schizophrenic and so am I.
Doctor," the worried exec told the psychiatrist, "I'm afraid I'm schizophrenic."
"Well," replied the doctor, "that makes four of us."
Q: What do you call a schizophrenic Buddhist?
A: Someone who is at two with the universe.
The Schizophrenic: An Unauthorized Autobiography
If a schizophrenic threatens suicide, is it declared a hostage situation?