"I'm schizophrenic" joke

I'm schizophrenic and so am I.

A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5kg weight loss program.

The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her more...

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Your mamas so old, that when i told her to act her age she dropped dead!!!

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A very absent-minded professor entered a crowded bus, with no available seats. Suddenly a little girl raised from her seat and offered it to the professor. He was astonished and said to her:
- You are a very good girl, what's your name?
- My name is Eve, daddy...

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A guy says to his friend, "I can't remember if the doctor told me my wife has AIDS or Alzheimer's."
His friend says, "It's simple. Drive her to the other side of town. If she finds her way home, don't fuck her."

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The Utah Jazz collected their 12th straight victory. In celebration, Utah residents might even stay up til midnight.

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Rachel:This joke is Not written the right way Nor is the name. It is Shut up, Manners, and Crap.
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Anonymous:Ctfu ! Ive Been Looking For This Joke !
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Anonym:Well, it's technically wrong. You don't have several identities if you're schizophrenic, that disorder is dissociative identity disorder.
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Alex:Simple and very funny!
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Kimberly C:This one makes me laugh everytime!
Funny Joke? 73 vote(s). 68% are positive. 6 comment(s).