Macintosh Jokes

Humorous Computer-Related Acronyms

IBM

I Blame Microsoft

Idiots Buy Me

Idiots Building Machines

I'll Buy Macintoshes

It Bit Me

It Built Microsoft

It's Better Manually

I've Been Mislead

I've Been Mugged

WINDOWS

Well, It Never Does Operate With Speed

When I Need Data Output Without Speed

While Idle, Needs DX or WorkStation

Will Install Needless Data On Whole System

WIN

Whoppingly Immense NOP

Worm Infestation Netware

MS-WINDOWS NT / WINDOWS NT

My Solitaire With Its New De-accelerator, Only With Some Network Technology

Well Intended, Netword De-accelerator, Only Works Sometimes, Never Totally

WINDOWS (as a) Network Trojan

Different Operating Systems Expectations

Macintosh: What You See Is What You Get

MS-DOS: You Asked more...

WINDOWS - Will Install Needless Data On Whole System GIRO - Garbage In Rubbish Out. MIPS - Meaningless Indication of Processor Speed. BASIC - Bill`s Attempt to Seize Industry Control. DEC - Do Expect Cuts. CD-ROM - Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months. OS/2 - Obsolete Soon, Too. AMIGA - A Merely Insignificant Game Addiction. WWW - World Wide Wait. IBM = Imbecile Behind Macintosh. MACINTOSH - Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs.

Q: How many Macintosh users does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None - there's no documentation available, so you have to wait until a third-party supplier comes out with a solution.

Q: How many Macintosh users does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One, but it costs $4000 and you have to replace the motherboard.

The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.Apple Corporation Sues Itself.[AP] In a move that has industrial analysts scratching their heads, Apple Computers has filed suit against Apple Computers Corporation. The company claims that Apple has violated the Look and Feel of their own machines which has helped to make the company famous.An Apple Spokesperson stated "This is no joke. If we don't protect our copyrighted interface, everyone will use it and we could lose the exclusive right. So it is in our best interests to sue anyone who uses the Macintosh Look and Feel, including ourselves." The spokesperson says Apple has retained the prestigious LA law firm of Kukla, Fran and Ollie to spearhead the lawsuit. Apple's in house lawyers will defend.Long time Apple observer Ernest Dinklefwat stated that this is a sure sign that Apple has too many lawyers and not enough engineers. more...