Lookout Jokes / Recent Jokes

Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the waves, a captain and his crew were in danger of being boarded by a pirate ship. As the crew became frantic, the captain bellowed to his First Mate, 'Bring me my red shirt!'The First Mate quickly retrieved the captain's red shirt, which the captain put on and led the crew to battle the pirate boarding party. Although some casualties occurred among the crew, the pirates were repelled.Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending boarding parties. The crew cowered in fear, but the captain, calm as ever bellowed, 'Bring me my red shirt!'And once again the battle was on. However, the Captain and his crew repelled both boarding parties, though this time more casualties occurred.Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's occurrences when an ensign looked to the Captain and asked, 'Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?'The Captain, giving the ensign a look more...

Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the waves, a captain and his crew were in danger of being boarded by a pirate ship.
As the crew became frantic, the captain bellowed to his first mate, "Bring me my red shirt!"
The first mate quickly retrieved the captain's red shirt, which the captain put on and led the crew to battle the pirate boarding party.
Although some casualties occurred among the crew, the pirates were repelled. The men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's events when an ensign looked to the captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?"
The captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, exhorted, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show blood, and thus you men will continue to fight unafraid."
The men sat in silence, marveling at the courage of such a man. The next morning, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending boarding more...

Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the waves, a captain and his crew werein danger of being boarded by a pirate ship. As the crew became frantic, the captain bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!"The First Mate quickly retrieved the captain's red shirt, which thecaptain put on and led the crew to battle the pirate boarding party.Although some casualties occurred among the crew, the pirates were repelled.Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vesselssending boarding parties. The crew cowered in fear, but the captain, calmas ever bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!" And once again the battle wason, however, the Captain and his crew repelled both boardingparties, although this time more casualties occurred.Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recountingthe day's occurrences when an ensign looked to the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?"The Captain, more...

On a train to a large computer convention there were a bunch of computer programmers and a bunch of computer engineers. Each of the engineers had a train ticket. The group of programmers had only ONE ticket for all of them.
The engineers started laughing, figuring the programmers were going to get caught and thrown off the train. When one of the programmers, the lookout said "here comes the conductor", all of the programmers went into the bathroom. The engineers were puzzled.
The conductor came aboard, said "tickets please" and got tickets from all the computer engineers. He then went to the bathroom and knocked on the door and said "ticket please". The programmers stuck the ticket under the door. The conductor took it and moved on. A few minutes later the programmers came out of the bathroom. The computer engineers felt really stupid.
On the way back from the convention, the group of engineers decided that they would try that method, too. more...

Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the waves, a captain and his crew werein danger of being boarded by a pirate ship. As the crew became frantic, the captain bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!"The First Mate quickly retrieved the captain's red shirt, which thecaptain put on and led the crew to battle the pirate boarding party. Although some casualties occurred among the crew, the pirates were repelled. Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vesselssending boarding parties. The crew cowered in fear, but the captain, calmas ever bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!" And once again the battle wason, however, the Captain and his crew repelled both boardingparties, although this time more casualties occurred. Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recountingthe day's occurrences when an ensign looked to the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?" The Captain, more...

The Detroit Lions are reportedly on the lookout for a quarterback. In related news, Detroit fans are on the lookout for any kind of money back.

Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the waves, a captain and his crew were
in danger of being boarded by a pirate ship. As the crew became frantic,
the captain bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!"
The First Mate quickly retrieved the captain's red shirt, which the
captain put on and led the crew to battle the pirate boarding party.
Although some casualties occurred among the crew, the pirates were
repelled.
Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels
sending boarding parties. The crew cowered in fear, but the captain, calm
as ever bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!" And once again the battle was
on, however, the Captain and his crew repelled both boarding
parties, although this time more casualties occurred.
Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting
the day's occurrences when an ensign looked to the Captain and more...