Line-up Jokes

Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten teargas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them, shouting out to give himself up.
Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn`t control himself during a line-up. When detectives asked each man in the line-up to repeat the words, "Give me all your money or I`ll shoot", the man shouted, "That`s not what I said!"
In Modesto, CA, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun but unfortunately he failed to keep his hand in his pocket.

The Taliban's Fall TV Line-up

MONDAYS:
8: 00 - "Husseinfeld"
8: 30 - "Mad About Everything"
9: 00 - "Suddenly Sanctions"
9: 30 - "The Brian Benben Bin Laden Show"
10: 00 - "Allah McBeal"

TUESDAYS:
8: 00 - "Wheel of Terror and Fortune"
8: 30 - "The Price is Right If Usama Says Its Right"
9: 00 - "Children Are Forbidden From Saying The Darndest Things"
9: 30 - "Afganistans Wackiest Public Execution Bloopers"
10: 00 - "Buffy The Yankee Imperialist Dog Slayer"

WEDNESDAYS:
8: 00 - "U. S. Military Secrets Revealed"
8: 30 - "Bowling For Food"
9: 00 - "Two Guys, a Girl, and a Pita Bread"
9: 30 - "Just Shoot Everyone"
10: 00 - "Veilwatch"

THURSDAYS:
8: 00 - "Matima Loves Chachi"
8: 30 - more...