Johny Jokes

Teacher asks Johny:"Make a sentence with contagious".Johny replies"as you grow, your cunt ages"!

Back 75 years ago everyone rode the trains if they wanted to go somewhere. The ticket was just a little card of a thing, smaller and thicker in weight than a business card. Uncle John, with his brothers Charlie and Dan were taking a trip. In those days men *always* wore hats, not those baseball or "gimme" cap like men and boys wear today.
It was considered correct to just stick the ticket in the hat-band with the destination showing, and the conductor could later tell the passenger that his station was next.
Sometime during the journey Uncle John, skamp that he was, lifted Uncle Charlie's ticket and put it in his own pocket. Later he said to Charlie, "Charlie, where is your ticket?" All three "searched" for it, but of course no one found it. So Uncle Johny said, "Charlie, you had better hide under the seat and we will sort of cover you with our legs and the conductor will not see you."
So they rode on, Uncles Johny and Dan sitting more...

Johny's mother went into talk to his teacher before his first day of preschool. She said, "Johny has a gambling problem so don't gamble with him ok?" The teacher agrees,
On the first day after preschool Johny goes to his teacher and says I bet you fifty dollars that you have brown pubic hair. The teacher, being poor and wanting to teach him a leason says, "Alright I'll take that bet," and so she takes him into her office lifts up her skirt and shows him that she has black pubic hair.
Later that night she calls the family and gets Johny's dad. She says I think I cured your son's gambling problem. The father says "How?"
The teacher tells him what happens and the father screams, "THAT LITTLE SHIT BET ME 100 DOLLARS THAT HE COULD GET YOU TO LIFT UP YOUR SKIRT THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL."