Grasshopper Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    The Original Version:
    The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
    Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out in the cold.
    The New Liberal Version:
    It starts out the same, but when winter comes, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving. CBS, NBC and ABC show up and provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to film of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.
    America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can it be that, in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
    Then a representative of the NAAGB (The National Association for the Advancement of Green Bugs) shows up on NightLine more...

    Ant and a grasshopper

    Hot 7 years ago

    THE ORIGINAL VERSIONThe ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out in the cold.MODERN CANADIAN VERSIONThe ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come the winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.The CBC shows up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. Canadians are stunned by the sharp contrast. How can it be that, in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to more...

    The Original Version
    The Ant busts his rear in the withering heat all summer long,
    building his house and laying up suplies for the winter. The Grasshopper
    thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come
    winter the Ant is warm and well fed. The Grasshopper has no food or
    shelter so dies out in the cold.
    The New Liberal Version
    It starts out the same but when winter comes, the shivering
    Grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the Ant
    should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and
    starving. CBS, NBC and ABC show up and show pictures of the shivering
    Grasshopper next to the Ant in his comfortable home with a table filled
    with food. Americal is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can it be, in
    a country of such wealth that this poor Grasshopper is allowed to suffer
    so? Then a representative of the NAGB (The National Association of Green
    Bugs) shows up on Night Line more...

    Bugs 'n Bars

    Hot 8 years ago

    A grasshopper jumps into a sleazy little bar, makes his way onto a stool and orders a drink. The bartender looks at him and says "Hey, we got a drink named after you!" The grasshopper smiles surprisedly, and says "You really got a drink named Bob???"

    A grasshopper walks into a bar and says, "Bartender, give me a drink."
    The bartender can't believe his eyes and says, "Oh my Gosh, I can't believe this, you're a talking grasshopper!"
    "Do you know we have drink named after you?"
    The Grasshopper replies, "You have a drink named Steve?"

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