Godmother Jokes / Recent Jokes

The story takes off where Cinderella just got yelled at by her step-mother, then her fairy godmother comes to her aid.
The fairy godmother says, "I can make you a new dress and give you everything you need to go to the ball... on two conditions!"
"Anything, " says Cinderella, "anything!"
"Okay the first condition is you have to wear a diaphram. The second condition is you have to be back by 2:00 AM or else your diaphram will turn into a pumpkin," says the fairy godmother.
So Cinderella goes to the ball and the fairy godmother just waits and waits and then it gets to be 2:00AM, 3:00, 4:00, 5:00 and Cinderella's still not back. Then Cinderella finally shows up and the fairy godmother is astonished as to Cinderella's appearence... no pumpkin!
The godmother asks Cinderella who she was with for she had no idea of a man with such power.
Then Cinderella replies, "Peter, Peter something or other?"

The story takes off where Cinderella just got yelled at by her step-mother, then her fairy godmother comes to her aid.The fairy godmother says, "I can make you a new dress and give you everything you need to go to the ball... on two conditions!""Anything, " says Cinderella, "anything!""Okay the first condition is you have to wear a diaphram. The second condition is you have to be back by 2:00 AM or else your diaphram will turn into a pumpkin," says the fairy godmother.So Cinderella goes to the ball and the fairy godmother just waits and waits and then it gets to be 2:00AM, 3:00, 4:00, 5:00 and Cinderella's still not back. Then Cinderella finally shows up and the fairy godmother is astonished as to Cinderella's appearence... no pumpkin! The godmother asks Cinderella who she was with for she had no idea of a man with such power.Then Cinderella replies, "Peter, Peter something or other?"

An old lady sits on her front porch, rocking away the last days of her long life, when all of a sudden, a fairy godmother appears and informs her that she will be granted three wishes.
"Well, now," says the old lady, "I guess I would like to be really rich."
*** POOF *** Her rocking chair turns to solid gold.
"And, gee, I guess I wouldn't mind being a young, beautiful princess."
*** POOF *** She turns into a beautiful young woman.
"Your third wish?" asks the fairy godmother. Just then the old woman's cat wanders across the porch in front of them. "Ooh - can you change him into a handsome prince?" she asks.
*** POOF ***
There before her stands a young man more handsome than anyone could possibly imagine. She stares at him, smitten. With a smile that makes her knees weak, he saunters across the porch and whispers in her ear, "Bet you're sorry you had me neutered."

Big Bad Wolf:
The big bad wolf said to Little Red Riding Hood, "unbutton your blouse and let me suck your tits." "Fuck off," she replied as she tugged down her panties. "Eat me, like the fuckin' book says."
Pinocchio:
Pinocchio was fed up with the recent complaints from his wife. "Every time we make love, I get splinters."
So Pinocchio went back to his maker, Gepetto the Carpenter, for advice. "Sandpaper," said the carpenter, "that's what you need." Pinocchio took the sandpaper home. A few weeks later, the carpenter bumped into Pinocchio again.
"How are you getting along with the girls now?" "Who needs girls?" replied Pinocchio.
Cinderella:
Cinderella wants to go to the ball, but her wicked stepmother won't let her. As Cinderella sits crying in the garden, her fairy godmother appears, and promises to provide Cinderella with everything she needs to go to the ball, but only on two more...

Once there was this woman, who was, sad to say, very flat across
the upper body. Year after year of seeing beautiful, large-breasted
women walking away with handsome guys finally got to her. She decided
that she would have large tits at any cost.
At first she went to a breast treatment center and asked for larger
breasts. After several weeks, despite all the injections and fillers
they had given her, her breasts were no larger. She despaired. She
went everywhere, but everything she tried came to no avail.
So she went home and cried and prayed for larger tits. After
several days of this, during one praying session, there was this
sudden poof, and her fairy godmother appeared before her.
"Well, dearie, you want larger tits, do you?"
"Oh yes, oh yes, please fairy godmother, give me bigger tits. I
beg you," the woman implored.
"Okay, okay, calm down. I'll do it, if you promise to stop
bothering me. more...

An old lady is rocking away the last of her days on her front porch, reflecting on her long life, when--all of a sudden--a fairy godmother appears in front of her and informs her that she will be granted three wishes.

"Well, now," says the old lady, "I guess I would like to be really rich."

*** POOF *** her rocking chair turns to solid gold.

"And, gee, I guess I wouldn't mind being a young, beautiful princess."

*** POOF *** she turns into a beautiful young woman.

"Your third wish?" asks the fairy godmother.

Just then the old woman's cat wanders across the porch in front of them.

"Ooh--can you change him into a handsome prince?" she asks.

*** POOF *** there before her stands a young man more handsome than anyone could possibly imagine.

She stares at him, smitten. With a smile that makes her knees weak, he saunters across the porch and more...

we all know how cinderella wanted to go to the ball but her wicked stepmother
wouldnt let her and then the fairy godmother pops up and gives cinderella
some good news: the fairy godmother tells cinderella that she will provide for her
everything she needs to go to the ball but only on 2 conditions. cinderella
asks what she needs to do and fairy godmother replies, "first yo must wear a
diaphragm" cinderella's mouth drops open and says, "you must be crazy!
im on the pill and i dont need to wear a diaphragm" the fairy godmother
reminds cinderella about all the handsome princes that will be attending the ball
that night and cinderella agrees to wear a diphragm. "well what's the second condition?"
the fairy godmother replies "you must be back home at 2AM" well cinderella
explains that if she is gonna party with the princes she wants to be out all
night long. the fairy godmother tells cinderella more...