Ching Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Learn Chinese

    Hot 1 year ago

    Ever wanted to learn a language OTHER than English? Well, here's your first Chinese lesson...
    Are you harboring a fugitive- Hu Yu Hai Ding
    See me A.S.A.P. - Kum Hia Nao
    Small Horse - Tai Ni Po Ni
    Your price is too high - No Bai Dam Thing
    Did you go to the beach - Wai Yu So Tan
    I bumped into a coffee table - Ai Bang Mai Ni
    I think you need a facelift - Chin Tu Fat
    It's very dark in here - Wai So Dim?
    Has your flight been delayed? - Hao Long Wei Ting?
    That was an unauthorized execution.- Lin Ching
    I thought you were on a diet - Wai Yu Mun Ching?
    This is a tow away zone. - No Pah King
    You are not very bright - Yu So Dum
    I got this for free - Ai No Pei
    I am not guilty - Wai Hang Mi?
    Please, stay a while longer - Wai Go Nao?
    Our meeting was scheduled for next week - Wai Yu Kum Nao
    They have arrived - Hia Dei Kum
    Stay out of sight - Lei Lo
    He's cleaning his automobile - Wa Shing Ka
    Does this bathroom stink! more...

    Dashing through the mall...
    On a late December day,
    Through the $tores we go
    Charging all the way...
    Ching. .. Ching. .. Ching. ..
    Bell$ on register$ ring
    Making checkbook$ light,
    Oh, what fun it is to buy up
    Everything in $ight!
    Ching. .. Ching. .. Ching. ..
    Jingle Bells Jingle Bells
    The kids all yell and scream
    To us it sounds like anarchy
    But to them it's harmony-HEY!
    Jingle Bells Jingle Bells
    The children tipped the tree
    Antique ornaments smashed to bits
    The kids each say "not me"
    Dad goes to work each day
    Engineering things for flight
    But his real job is at home
    Refereeing little fights
    Mom drives the kids around
    In an ancient Caravan
    Karate, swimming, children's choir
    Espresso in her hand-HEY!
    Jingle Bells Jingle Bells
    Jingle all the way
    Our wish to you is that you have
    A... Happy... Holi-dayyyyyyyyy.

    Enlightenment Quiz
    1. Yin and... A) Yout B) Tonic C) Yenta D) Yang
    2. A Zen koan is... > A) A Jewish Buddhist B) All of the above C) None of the above D) None of the above
    3. Just before total God-realization I would see... > A) A blue pearl B) Nothing C) Everything D) How would I know?
    4. Lao-Tsu is... A) Shrimp with fried rice B) The Atman Brothers C) A Japanese word for sneeze D) Someone you should know about
    5) Jivatman and Atman merge to become... A) Jivatmanatman B) The Atman Brothers C) Jivatman & Atman Inc. D) Mr. & Mrs. Atman
    6) The word or words which best describes the relationship of God, Guru, and Self is:- A) Oneness B) Twoness C) Penpalness D) Just good friends
    7) Which of the following is not a name of the Lord?> A) Jehova B) Elohim C) Yahweh D) Charlton Heston
    8) If you swap a Swami with a Yogi you get... A) A Swogi B) A Salami C) Yogurt D) Heartburn
    9) Carlos Castaneda is: A) A flamenco dancer B) A resort near San Juan C) A mystery more...

    Enlightenment Quiz1. Yin and... A) Yout B) Tonic C) Yenta D) Yang2. A Zen koan is... > A) A Jewish Buddhist B) All of the above C) None of the above D) None of the above3. Just before total God-realization I would see... > A) A blue pearl B) Nothing C) Everything D) How would I know? 4. Lao-Tsu is... A) Shrimp with fried rice B) The Atman Brothers C) A Japanese word for sneeze D) Someone you should know about5) Jivatman and Atman merge to become... A) Jivatmanatman B) The Atman Brothers C) Jivatman & Atman Inc. D) Mr. & Mrs. Atman6) The word or words which best describes the relationship of God, Guru, and Self is:- A) Oneness B) Twoness C) Penpalness D) Just good friends7) Which of the following is not a name of the Lord?> A) Jehova B) Elohim C) Yahweh D) Charlton Heston8) If you swap a Swami with a Yogi you get... A) A Swogi B) A Salami C) Yogurt D) Heartburn9) Carlos Castaneda is: A) A flamenco dancer B) A resort near San Juan C) A mystery D) The guitarist for Santana10) Om Mani more...

    How do chinese name their children?
    They drop forks and knives down the stairs... ching, ching, chong, ching, ching.

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