Angus Jokes / Recent Jokes

There was a young Scottish boy called Angus who decided to try life in Australia. He found an apartment in a small block and settled in.
After a week or two, his mother called to see how her son was doing in his new life.
"I'm fine, " Angus said. "But there are some really strange people living in these apartments. One woman cried all day long, another lies on her floor moaning, and there is a guy next door to me who bangs his head on the wall all the time."
"Well, my dear," says his mother, "I suggest you don't associate with people like that."
"Oh," says Angus, "I don't, Mam, I don't. No, I just stay inside my apartment all day and night, playing my bagpipes."

Two Scotsmen had been pals since childhood and had shared everything over the years.
One day, Angus won a rare bottle of Scotch in a door prize.
Immediately, Jock says “Open it up and we’ll have a dram. ”
“Naw, ah’m goin’ tae save it for a special occasion. ”
Birthdays came and went, his anniversaries came and went, but Jock could never get Angus to open the bottle.
Finally Angus had a heart attack, and was laying on his deathbed.
He motioned for his old friend to come closer.
“Jock, remember that rare bottle of Scotch I won? ”
“Aye, ah certainly do, Angus! ”
“Weell, ah like ye tae do me a favor Jock, my dear friend. ”
“Aye, anything ye ask Angus. ”
“When ah’m dead, wid ye take that bottle an’ open it up–”
“Aye, Angus, then what? ”
“Wid ye pour it over ma grave? ”
“Pour it over yer grave? My god Angus. It’s 40 year old Scotch! But I’ll do it for ye. more...

Two Scotsmen had been pals since childhood and had shared everything over the years. One day, Angus won a rare bottle of Scotch in a door prize.
Immediately, Jock says "Open it up and we'll have a dram."
"Naw, ah'm goin' tae save it for a special occasion."
Birthdays came and went, his anniversaries came and went, but Jock could never get Angus to open the bottle.
Finally Angus had a heart attack, and was laying on his deathbed. He motioned for his old friend to come closer. "Jock, remember that rare bottle of Scotch I won?"
"Aye, ah certainly do, Angus!"
"Weell, ah like ye tae do me a favor Jock, my dear friend."
"Aye, anything ye ask Angus."
"When ah'm dead, wid ye take that bottle an' open it up--"
"Aye, Angus, then what?"
"Wid ye pour it over ma grave?"
"Pour it over yer grave? My god Angus. It's 40 year old Scotch! But I'll do it more...

Mark called in to see his friend Angus (a Scotman) to find he was stripping the wallpaper from the walls.

Rather obviously, he remarked "You're decorating, I see." to which Angus replied "No. I'm moving house."