2nd Jokes / Recent Jokes
There Are 2 Men Siting In A Boat 1st Man To The 2nd Man-There Is A Hole In The Boat 2nd Man To The 1st Man-Make Another Hole
So That The Water Can Go From The Second Hole
TWO MEN SITTING BESIDE ONE ANOTHER IN A BAR. THE 1ST MAN IS AN AVERAGE SIZE GUY WEIGHINGABOUT 170 LBS. THE 2ND MAN IS A HUGE FAT GUY WEIGHING ABOUT375 LBS. THE 2ND GUY ASKS THE 1ST GUY. "WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A WOMAN, DO YOU ALWAYS HIT BOTTOM?" THE 1ST GUY REPLIES, "IT DEPENDS ON THE WOMAN, HOW ABOUT YOU?" THE 2ND GUY REPLIES, "I ALWAYS HIT BOTTOM, NOMATTER WHO I'M WITH." OF COURSE YOU CAN'T HELP BUT TO HIT BOTTOM WHEN YOU "MASH IT FLAT".
An ideal homework excuse
Teacher: Where is your homework?
Pupil: I loaned it to a friend, but he suddenly moved away
Teacher: Can anyone tell me how many seconds there are in a year?
Pupil: 12 - 2nd January, 2nd February…!
An ideal homework excuse
Teacher: Where is your homework?
Pupil: Our furnace stopped working and we had to burn it to stop ourselves from freezing
Mother: What did you learn in school today
Son: How to write
Mother: What did you write?
Son: I don’t know, they haven’t taught us how to read yet!
Where did knights learn to kill dragons?
At knight school!
First cave man to 2nd cave man: "I don't care what you say. We never had such unusual weather before they started using bows and arrows."
Car Parking
The smallest kerbside space successfully reversed into by a woman was one of 19. 36m (63ft 2ins), equivalent to three standard parking spaces, by Mrs. Elizabeth Simpkins, driving an unmodified Vauxhall Nova' Swing' on 12th October 1993. She started the manoeuvre at 11. 15am in Ropergate, Pontefract, and successfully parked within three feet of the pavement 8 hours 14 minutes later. There was slight damage to the bumpers and wings of her own and two adjoining cars, as well as a shop frontage and two lampposts.
Incorrect Driving
The longest journey completed with the handbrake on was one of 504 km (313 miles) from Stranraer to Holyhead by Dr. Julie Thorn (GB) at the wheel of a Saab 900 on the 2nd April 1987. Dr. Thorn smelled burning two miles into her journey at Aird but pressed on to Holyhead with smoke billowing from the rear wheels. This journey also holds the records for the longest completed journey with the choke fully out and the right indicator more...
Once morron and idiot went to play a tv quiz show. Santa was very intelligent whereas banta was extremely foolish. so santa asked banta to copy the answers which he will give for the questions. so first santa went and quiz master asked him that when did india got freedom? He answered that they tried in 1942 but got it in 1947. 2nd question-is there any life on mars? Morron answered that the scientisits are still reaserching for it. Idiot copied all the answers and finnaly his turn came. Quiz master asked him that when were you born? He answered that'i tried in 1942 but was born in 1947 2nd question-are you a male or female. He answered that scientists are still researching for it.
Two children were sitting outside a clinic. One of them was crying very loudly.
2nd Child: Why are you crying?
1st Child: I came here for blood test.
2nd Child: So? Are you afraid?
1st Child: No. Not that. For the blood test, they cut my finger.
At this, the second one started crying. The first one was astonished.
1st Child: Why are you crying now?
2nd Child: I have come for my urine test