2nd Jokes / Recent Jokes

Being a parent changes everything. But being a parent also changes with each baby. Here are some of the ways having a second and third child is different from having your first.
Your Clothes
1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.
2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.
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Preparing for the Birth
1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
2nd baby: You don't bother practicing because you remember that last time, breathing didn't do a thing.
3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your 8th month.
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The Layette
1st baby: You pre-wash your newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.
2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
3rd baby: more...

A young Air Force 2nd Lieutenant had just arrived at Misawa AFB in Japan. He'd been given a beautiful renovated office and had it furnished with antiques. Sitting there, he saw an enlisted man come into his outer office. Wishing to appear the hot shot, the officer picked up the phone and started to pretend he was exchanging chit chat with the Base Commander. He threw Colonel's and General's names around and talked about letting them stay in his Daddy's condo in Hawaii, and then set up a golfing date between him, the Base Commander, and the CO's of the Naval Security Group and Naval Air Facility. Finally he hung up and asked the Sergeant, "Can I help you sergeant?"The TSGT said, "Yes sir, I'm here to activate your phone lines."

REAL STORIES OF THE NON-TECHNICALLY INCLINED
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I worked with an individual who plugged their power strip back into itself and for the life of them could not understand why their computer would not turn on.
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1st Person:' Do you know anything about this fax-machine?'

2nd Person:' A little. What's wrong?'

1st Person:' Well, I sent a fax, and the recipient called back to say
all she received was a cover-sheet and a blank page. I tried it again, and the
same thing happened.'

2nd Person:' How did you load the sheet?'

1st Person:' It's a pretty sensitive memo, and I didn't want anyone else
to read it by accident, so I folded it so only the recipient would open it
and read it.'

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I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car.' Do you
need some help?' I more...

Sardar talking on cell.
2nd Sardar: Kis se baat kar raho ho.
1st Sardar: Biwi se…
2nd Sardar: Itne… Pyaar se?
1st Sardar: Tumhari hai…

Being a parent changes everything. But being a parent also changes with each baby. Here are some of the ways having a second and third child is different from having your first. Your Clothes 1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.
2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible. 3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes. & Preparing for the Birth 1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously. 2nd baby: You don`t bother practicing because you remember that last time, breathing didn`t do a thing. 3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your 8th month. & The Layette 1st baby: You pre-wash your newborn`s clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby`s little bureau. 2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains. 3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can`t they? & Worries 1st baby: At the first sign of distress - a whimper, a more...