"What Really Pissed Me Off!" joke

Hot 6 months ago

Coming into the bar and ordering a double, the man leaned over
and confided to the bartender, "
I'm so pissed off !"
Oh yeah? What happened?"
asked the bartender politely.
See, I met this beautiful woman who invited me back to her
home. We stripped off our clothes and jumped into bed and we
were just about to make love when her god damned husband came in
the front door. So I had to jump out of the bedroom window and
hang from the ledge by my fingernails!"
Gee, that's tough!"
commiserated the bartender.
Right, but that's not what really got me aggravated,"
customer went on.
When her husband came into the room he said 'Hey great! You're
naked already! Let me just take a leak.' And damned if the lazy
son of a bitch didn't piss out the window right onto my head?"
the bartender shook his head. "
No wonder you're in a
lousy mood."
Yeah, but I haven't told you what really, really got to me.
Next, I had to listen to them grunting and groaning and when
they finished, the husband tossed his condom out of the window.
And where does it land? My damned forehead!"
Damn, that really is a drag!"
says the bartender.
Oh, I'm not finished. See what really pissed me off was when
the husband had to take a dump. It turns out that their toilet
is broken, so he stuck his ass out of the window and let loose
right on my head !"
The bartender paled. "
That would sure mess up my day."
Yeah, yeah, yeah,"
the fellow rattled on, "
but do you know what
REALLY, REALLY, REALLY pissed me off? When I looked down and saw
that my feet were only SIX inches off the ground!!"

Teamwork is essential - it allows you to blame someone else.

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in his shoes. Then when you do criticize that person, you'll be a mile away and have his shoes.

Why don't lobsters share?
They're shellfish.

Stacey makes a new friend at school and invites her home for the first time. Stacey excuses herself to fetch her Mom and introduce her new friend. As her friend is standing in the living room next to the fireplace, she picks up the attractive vase on the mantle. When Stacey more...

"Things are more like they are now than they have ever been." -President Gerald Ford
"My fellow astronauts..."
-Vice-President Dan Quayle, beginning a speech at an Apollo 11 anniversary celebration.
"Capital punishment is our society's more...

Be first to comment!
remember me
follow replies
Funny Joke? 3 vote(s). 67% are positive. 0 comment(s).