"Two Drops of Water" joke
A woman is in the bar of a cruise ship and asks the bartender for a scotch and two drops of water. As the bartender gives her the drink, she announces, "Today is my 80th birthday and I'm on the cruise to celebrate."
"Well, since it's your birthday," the bartender says, "the drink's on the house."
As the women finishes her drink, the lady to her right says, "Since it's your birthday, I'd like to buy you a drink, too."
"Thank you," says the old woman. "Bartender, I'll have a scotch and two drops of water."
She no sooner finishes that drink, when the man to her left says, "Since I'm the only one around you that hasn't bought you a drink, I guess I might as well buy you one."
"Why, thank you sir," the old woman says. "Bartender, I'll have a scotch and two drops of water."
"Coming right up," the bartender says. As he gives her the drink he says, "Excuse me, but I'm dying of curiosity. Why the scotch and only two drops of water?"
The old woman replies, "Well, sonny, when you're my age you learn that you can hold your liquor, but you sure can't hold your water!"
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