"The Top 15 *Other* Signs Santa Claus Is Actually A Woman" joke
15. Santa *remembers* it's Christmas.' Nuf said.
14. Reads children's letters in office instead of in bathroom.
13. Never explains what exactly you did to deserve that coal in
your stocking; if you have to ask, maybe that's the
problem!
12. Employs little people in a sweatshop and co-hosts TV talk
show, "Regis and Santa Lee."
11. Despite the closet full of red coats with big black belts,
*still* insists she has nothing to wear on Christmas Eve.
10. "Mrs. Claus" wears work boots, has a crew cut, and drives
a' 68 El Camino.
9. A man simply would not care if you were naughty or nice.
8. Actually seems to shake like TWO bowls full of jelly.
7. Bowl full of jelly, my ass. It's water retention.
6. Constantly whining about equality until it's time to
clean out the reindeer stalls.
5. Matching shoes and belt? Only a woman would accessorize a
pantsuit like that!
4. No guy would ever name his animals Dancer and Prancer.
3. Santa never, ever observed peeing off of rooftops.
2. The North Pole Blockbuster's been out of "The Horse
Whisperer" for weeks.
and Top5's Number 1 *Other* Sign Santa Claus is Actually a Woman...
1. With the way they build chimneys these days you'd *have*
to be Calista friggin' Flockhart just to get in!
Not enough votes...