"Some cowboy philosophies" joke
"Indian build little fire. White man build big fire. White man get warm carrying wood."
On the subject of fire building: "A good Indian always carries a can of gas."
"If two fellas never argue it jus' means one of 'em's doin' all the thinkin'."
"Everyday is Saturday to a dog."
"Country people don't shine their shoes very often but they don't shine other people's either."
On killin' time: "Just circlin' like a man with one oar."
"I can't understand it, they built a brand new jail in the county seat and then filled it with riff raff!"
"Milkin' a thousand cows is like havin' a thousand wives."
"In a card game you go by the golden rule, him who has the gold makes the rules."
"Never assume nothin', there's two things a cowboy don't know anything about, one of em's a cow and the other's a horse!"
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