"Smart Gambler(long but well worth.)" joke

A man goes into a bar, and he looks like a complete bum. He sits down and asks for a bottle of brandy. The bartender says"
I am going to have to see some money first"
. So...out of his pocket, the bum takes a HUGE wad of 20's 50's and 100 dollar bills.
The bartender...stunned of course says "
Jesus crist, how did you get all that?"
The man replies, "
I am a gambling man."
But gambling is only 50/50. How can you win so much money!?"
I only bet on the things I know I can win on."
Says the gambler. "
take this for example. I bet you $200 I can bite my right eye."
The bartender says "
Yeah right. Go ahead."
So the man takes out his right false eye and bites it.
Damn you! You jipped me"
the bartender yelled."
and gave the man $200
That's how I win money. ok...got another one. I'll bet you another $200 I can bite my LEFT eye."
The bartender, knowing he couldn't be blind, accepts. So the man takes out his false teeth and bites his left eye. "
Damn. You jipped me again!"
The man dissapeared into the back.
1 hour later, the man appears, drunk as ever.
Okay...on more bet... I bet $500 I can piss in that glass on the other side of the bar without spilling a drop!"
....go for it.
So the man starts at it... and goes EVERYWHERE. All over the bar, the floor, the BARTENDER, and doesn't get a single drop in the glass!.
HAHAHA, you owe me $500!.
that's ok...says the man. I bet someone in the back I could piss all over you and your bar, and you would laugh about it!."

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