"Secret Service" joke
Paul and his best friend were coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands. He grabbed his friend by the hand and pulled him aside.
The Pastor said to him, "You need to join the Army of the Lord!"
Paul's friend replied, "I'm already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor."
Pastor questioned, "How come I don't see you except at Christmas and Easter?"
He whispered back, "I'm in the secret service."
Don't criticize your wife...if she were perfect, she would have married much better than you.
Q: How many radio astronomers does it take to change a light bulb.
A: None. They are not interested in that short wave stuff.
Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims?
A Russian is strolling down the street in Moscow and kicks a
bottle laying in the street. Suddenly out of the bottle comes
The Russian is stunned and the Genie says, "Hello Master, I
will grant you one wish, anything that you want."
Your Mamma's so fat, when she went bungee jumping, she broke the bridge!