"Scottish guy his kilt in a bar" joke
There was this Scottish guy, all dressed up in his kilt etc. sitting in a bar and he was a bit strapped for cash. He was trying to work out how to solve his problem when this guy with a big cigar and a moustache came in. He watched the guy order a whole heap of alcohol. When the bartender asked him to pay he just said, “Charge it to the Arafat account.” Now after this, several guys who looked the same came in and bought a whole heap of alcohol, charging it to the Arafat account.
Well, the Scotsman had thought long and hard and decided it was worth a try, so he went to the bartender, ordered his alcohol then said charge it to the Arafat account. Well the barman looked at him and said, “Sorry I can’t do that.” The Scotsman was surprised and said, “But you gave it to all those other guys.”
The barman replied, “Well, those guys had a big moustache and a cigar in their mouths.” So the Scotsman promptly whipped up his kilt and said, “Yeah, well so do I!!”
Your Mamma's so fat, when she went bungee jumping, she broke the bridge!
Don't knock on Death's door.
Instead, ring the bell and run. Death hates that...
Teacher: Wat do u call a person who apologizes if he has committed a mistake ?
Boy: An honest man.
Teacher: Good. And what do u call a person who apologizes even if he has committed no mistake ?
Boy: A Boyfriend.
In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth... the rest was made in China.
Mondays aren't so bad...it's my job that sucks.