"You know, except for the moustache, you look a lot like my mother."
"But I don't have a mustache."
"Yes, I know....but my mother does."
A man on a bus spends much of the journey staring at the guy sitting opposite. Before long the other guy starts staring back and demands to know why he is the focus of so much attention.
“I’m very sorry,” begins the first man, “but if it weren’t for the moustache you’d look just like my wife!”
“But I don’t have a moustache!” protests the other.
“See what I mean?” he replies.
These two fleas are sitting in Florida. One is shivering like crazy, saying "that has got to be the coldest ride I have ever had in my life!"
"How did you get here?" asks the other flea.
"I was in the moustache of some guy riding his motorcycle down the freeway."
"That is no way to travel to Florida" says the flea."Here is what you do. Go to the airport and find a lounge. Have a sip of someone's drink so you are relaxed. Find a really pretty girl and crawl up her leg and under her dress.G o inside her panties and you will find a nice warm place to curl up and fall asleep. The next thing you know, you are in Florida! Remember that for next time.We will get together next year and you can tell me how it went!"
The following year, the two fleas are back in Florida and the first
one is shivering like crazy. "That is the coldest f*%#in' ride to
Florida I have had in my life!!!"
"What happened to the more...
A man walks in a T-shirt shop. There are three T-shirts on display.
The 1st has a picture of Richard Nixon with a white mustache. Below the picture is titled, "Got milk."
The 2nd T-shirt has a picture of Ronald Reagan with a
white mustache on it. Below this picture it is titled, "Forgot milk."
The 3rd T-shirt has a picture of Monica Lewinsky with a white mustache on it, and the title on this shirt reads, "Not milk."
An angry mob is walking along the street. Someone yells, "Hey, let's hang that guy with a moustache!"
Someone else yells, "Nah, let's use a rope!"