"One day a little girl" joke
One day a little girl was watching her mom make a great roast beef. She cut off the ends, wrapped it in string, seasoned it and set it in the great roasting pan. The little girl asked her mom why she cut off the ends of the roast. Mom replied, after some thought, that it was the way that her mother had done it.That night grandma came to dinner and the little girl and her mom went to her and asked why she had cut the end off of the roast before cooking. After some thought grandma replied, that was the way her mother had done it.Now great grandmother was quite old and in a nursing home. But the little girl went with her mom and grandma to see her and again asked the question.Grandma looked at them a bit annoyed and said, "So it would fit in the pan, of course."
A man arrives at the gates of heaven. St. Peter asks, "Religion?" The man says, "Methodist." St. Peter looks down his list, and says, "Go to room 24, but be very quiet as you pass room 8."
Another man arrives at the gates of heaven. more...
A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5kg weight loss program.
The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her more...
Don't knock on Death's door.
Instead, ring the bell and run. Death hates that...
Your moma is like a brick dirty on both sides and laid by mexicans.
your mamma is so fat when she steps on the scales it says one at a time please.