"Ocean of Beer" joke
Two Aussies, Hugo and Jake, were adrift in a lifeboat. While rummaging through the boat`s provisions, Hugo stumbled across an old lamp. He rubbed the lamp vigorously and a genie came forth. This genie, however, stated that he could only deliver one wish, not the standard three. Without giving much thought to the matter, Hugo blurted out, "Make the entire ocean into BEER!" The genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash, and immediately the entire sea turned into the finest brew EVER sampled by mortals. Simultaneously, the genie vanished. Only the gentle lapping of beer on the hull broke the stillness as the two men considered their circumstances. Jake looked disgustedly at Hugo whose wish had been granted. After a long, tension-filled moment Jake said, "Nice going Hugo! Now we`re going to have to piss in the boat."
In a crowded city at a crowded bus stop, a beautiful blonde was waiting for the bus. She was decked out in a tight leather mini skirt with matching tight leather boots and jacket. As the bus rolled up and it became her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too more...
The three words most hated by men during sex:' 'Are you done?'' The three words women hate to hear when having sex...''Honey, I'm home!''
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Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A: 45 lbs.
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Two newfies walked into a pet store. The first says "I want four budgies." Salesman-certainly sir, would you like two male and two female or all male or all female? Newfie-I don't care. I just want 4 budgies! Salesman-certainly sir, what color would you like? We have more...
Person 1: Knock, Knock
Person 2: Who's there?
Person 1: Cows go.
Person 2: Cows go who?
Person 1: No, silly! Cows go moo!