"I'm out of my mind" joke

The Utah Jazz collected their 12th straight victory. In celebration, Utah residents might even stay up til midnight.

A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads:
Cheese Sandwich: $1.50
Chicken Sandwich: $2.50
Hand Job: $10.00
Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive more...

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...

The best way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.