"Half a year to live" joke
A woman hears from her doctor that she has only half a year to live.The doctor advises her to marry an economist and to live in South Dakota.The woman asks: will this cure my illness? The doctor replies: No, but the half year will seem pretty long.
In biology class the teacher asks, "Can anyone tell me why a flounder is flat?" Little Johnny raises his hand.
"Go ahead, Little Johnny."
"My uncle told me it's because a whale raped the flounder."
"That's terrible, Little Johnny. more...
A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5kg weight loss program.
The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her more...
A good friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend will be sitting next to you saying: "Damn that was fun!"
Q. Why did the belt go to jail? A. Because he held up a pair of pants!
Mike Tyson gets out of jail and proceeds to do what he does best... find a woman with whom he may "commiserate". After a wild night of getting it on, it's time for the young lady to leave. As she's getting dressed, she and Mike are having a conversation. She says, more...