"Funny Newspaper Headlines" joke

Some 40% of female gas station employees in Metro Detroit are women, up from almost none a year ago. (Detroit News article)

Marijuana Issue Sent To A Joint Committee (Toronto Star headline)

Publicize your business absolutely free! Send $6. (Entrepreneur Magazine ad)

Gators To Face Seminoles With Peters Out (The Tallahassee Bugle)

Messiah Climaxes In Chorus Of Hallelujahs (The Anchorage, Alaska Times)

Governor Chiles Offers Rare Opportunity To Goose Hunters (The Tallahassee Democrat)

Would She Climb To The Top Of Mr. Everest Again? Absolutely! (The Houston Chronicle)

Thanks To President Clinton, Staff Sgt. Fruer Now Has A Son

Clinton Places Dickey In Gore's Hands (Bangor Maine News)

Starr Aghast At First Lady Sex Position (The Washington Times)

Clinton Stiff On Withdrawal (The Bosnia Bugle)

Organ Festival Ends In Smashing Climax (San Antonio Times)

Rose Petroleum Jelly Keeps Idle Tools Rust-free (Chicago Daily News)

Textron Inc. Makes Offer To Screw Company Stockholders (The Miami Herald)

Lawyer Says Client Is Not That Guilty.

Alzheimer's Center Prepares For An Affair To Remember

Gas Cloud Clears Out Taco Bell.

Harrisburg Postal Employees Gun Club Members Meet.