"Dog Haiku" joke

I love my master;
Thus I perfume myself with
This long-rotten squirrel.
I lie belly-up
In the sunshine, happier than
You ever will be.
Today I sniffed
Many dog butts–I celebrate
By kissing your face.
I sound the alarm!
Paperboy–come to kill us all–
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!
I sound the alarm!
Garbage man–come to kill us all–
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!
I lift my leg and
Whiz on each bush. Hello, Spot–
Sniff this and weep.
How do I love thee?
The ways are numberless as
My hairs on the rug.
My human is home!
I am so ecstatic I have
Made a puddle.
I Hate my choke chain.
Look, world, they strangle me!
Ack Ack Ack Ack Ack Ack!
Sleeping here, my chin
On your foot–no greater bliss–well,
Maybe catching rats.
Look in my eyes and
Deny it. No human could
Love you as much I do.
The cat is not all
Bad–she fills the litter box
With Tootsie Rolls.
Dig under fence–why?
Because it’s there. Because it’s
There. Because it’s there.
I am your best friend,
Now, always, and especially
When you are eating.
You may call them fleas,
But they are far more–I call
Them a vocation.
My owners’ mood is
Romantic–I lie near their
Feet. I fart a big one.