"A Muslim In Heaven" joke

A Muslim dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there, St. Peter meets him at the gate and says, "Welcome to heaven my son, please enter!"
The Muslim says "Oh no, no, I cannot enter without seeing Allah." St. Peter says, "Oh... Allah. He is upstairs."
The Muslim says, "Well of course, Allah is upstairs!" He climbs upstairs and meets Jesus.
Jesus says "Welcome to heaven my child, please enter!" And the Muslim says "Oh no, no, with all due respect, I cannot enter without seeing Allah."
Jesus says "But of course...Allah is upstairs, top floor."
The Muslim smiles and thinks to himself, "Of course, Allah is on top of heaven itself because He is most high!"
At the final gate he meets the all mighty Lord himself who says "Welcome to heaven my child, please enter."
As expected, the Muslim says he cannot enter without meeting Allah, to which the Lord replies "I understand, my child...Allah is here. But he is busy right now. Why don't you have a seat and wait for him?"
The Muslim is so excited that his Allah is so important, after all he always believed this was so. The Lord says to the Muslim "Why you must be parched, would you like a drink?"
The Muslim says, "Yes, I would like a drink. I would like that very much."
And the Lord asks, "Would you like a Coke?"
The Muslim says "Yes, that sounds good, thank you."
The Lord says, "It does indeed. I think I'll join you."
And with that the Lord snapped his fingers and said, "Allah, bring two cokes!"

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You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to beer.

You own a 3000 quid machine gun and 5000 quid rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes.

You have more wives than teeth.

You think vests more...

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HOW TO WIN THE WAR:
Would this be chemical, biological, or psychological warfare?
"PIG SHIT!" That's right: pig shit. They can't be in contact with any pork product and go to "Allah". So what we do is load every tanker plane we have with "PIG more...

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Saddam called President Clinton and said: "Bill, I called you because I had this incredible dream last night. I could see all of America, and it was beautiful and on top of every building, there was a flag."
Clinton said:"Saddam, what was on the flag?" more...

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