"A Giant Crunch Bird" joke

If you're looking for a really unusual pet," said the shop owner, "this cage contains a giant Crunch Bird. Its powerful beak and claws are capable of completely demolishing almost anything."
"How horrible," said the woman customer.
"Not at all," the pet-shop owner replied, "for the bird is remarkably well behaved and completely obedient. It is only when he is given a direct command, such as' Crunch Bird, the chair,' or' Crunch Bird, the table,' that he attacks and destroys the thing that was named."
"Could he destroy a television set?" the woman asked, with new interest.
"Console or table model. Color or black-and-white. If the Crunch Bird was given the command he would turn any set into a pile of metal scrap, wires and tubes in a few seconds."
"I want him!" the woman exclaimed. "I don't care what he costs, I want him!"
When the woman returned home, she found her husband in his usual spot-directly in front of the television set. No amount of coaxing could draw him away. Her once-loving spouse had lost all interest in sex, in conversation, in everything except TV. But things will be different from now on, she thought, opening the Crunch Bird's cage.
"What sort of pet did you buy?" her husband asked, without looking up from the set. "A poodle, a parakeet, or what. . . ? "
"I bought a Crunch Bird," she replied, preparing to give the one command that would smash her electronic rival into a million pieces.
"Crunch Bird, my ass," said her husband.

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