Weenie Jokes / Recent Jokes

One morning two priests head to the showers. It isn't until they were already in the shower, that they realized they did not bring any soap. Father Bob decides he'll run back for the soap.
Rather than get dressed, he peeks out into the hallway, and since no one is around, he decides to make a run for it. He gets the two bars of soap and checks the hall before heading back to the showers. All was clear, so he makes a break for it. Just as he turns the corner to the showers, he spots three nuns walking towards him. With nowhere to go, and hoping that the nuns will think he is a statue, he stands perfectly still, holding the two bars of soap.
The nuns approach and the first nun says, "Oh my, look at that! Isn't that the most lifelike statue you've ever seen?"
She steps up for a closer look, reaches out and gives a couple of tugs on the priest's weenie. Startled, he drops the first bar of soap.
"Oh Heavens," she exclaims, "I got a bar of more...

there wunce was a geenie wit a 2 foot weenie ho0 showed it to the grl next door she thought it was a snake nd hit it w/ a rake nd now its 10 feet long!!!

A man walks into a hotel and asks the man for a room. The clerk says, "There's only one room left, and it's haunted."
But the man says, "I'll take it!" That night he heard the ghost. "I'm the ghost of Teeny Weenie! Stay here and I'll take your weenie!" and the man ran out of the hotel as fast as he could.
The next day, another man needed a room. The clerk again said, "There's only one room left and it's haunted." The man said,"I'll take it!" That night he heard the ghost. "I'm the ghost of Teeny Weenie!" he chanted. "Get out of bed or I'll take your weenie!" and he too ran out of the hotel as fast as he could.
The day after, another man came in needing a room. The clerk said for the third time, "There's only one room left, and it's haunted." He said, "I'll take it!" That night he heard the ghost. "I'm the Ghost of Teeny Weenie! Get out of bed or I'll take your more...

The Marine Corps found they had too many officers and senior enlisted
men. It was decided to offer an early retirement bonus.

They promised any officer or senior enlisted man who volunteered for retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points in his body.

Those applying got to choose what those two points would be.

The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top
of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked
out with a bonus of $72,000.

The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be
measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out with $96,000.

The third one was a non-commissioned officer, a grizzly old Sergeant
Major who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied, "From
the tip of my weenie to my testicles." It was suggested by the more...