Splinters Jokes

There was a woman, who was a tree hugger and anti-hunter, who purchased several acres of Hill Country land, near Lake Cresant.
There was a huge tree on one of the highest points in the tract. She wanted to view the natural splendor of her land, so she climbed the tree. As she neared the top, she encountered a spotted owl. It attacked her! In her haste to escape, the woman slid down the tree to the ground. During the ensuing fall, she incurred several splinters of wood in her crotch. In considerable pain, she hurried to the nearest doctor, 35 minutes away.
She told him she was an environmentalist and anti-hunter and how she came to receive all of the splinters. The doctor listened to her story with great patience. He then told her to go into the examining room and he would see if he could help.
The impatient patient sat, and waited for three hours bef ore the doctor reappeared. The angry woman demanded, "What took you so long?"
He smiled and said, more...

One day Pinocchio came to Gepetto with a problem.
"Every time I have sex with my girlfriend, she gets splinters. What can I do about this?"
"Have you tried sandpaper?" Pinocchio hadn't, so he went to try it.
"Pinnochio," said Gepetto a few weeks later. "How is the problem work out with your
"Girlfriend?" said Pinnochio. "Who needs a girlfriend when you have sandpaper?"