Shrugs Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Koala With Hooker

    Hot 1 year ago

    A little koala bear wanders into a whorehouse. He climbs the stairs and finds a door open. He goes in to the room to find a naked prostitute asleep on the bed. He quickly climbs into the bed and begins performing oral sex on the prostitute.
    She wakes up and decides that since it feels so good she'll let him finish. The koala finishes, wipes his chin, climbs off the bed and heads for the door. The prostitute jumps up and yells at him "Hey, you have to pay for that". The koala shrugs and continues to head for the door.
    The prostitute yells at him again, "Hey you have to pay for that. I'm a prostitute". She gets up and pulls a dictionary off a shelf and shows the koala the definition.
    PROSTITUTE
    (n) a person receiving payment for sexual services.
    The koala shrugs, takes the dictionary and turns the pages to the definition of koala bear.
    KOALA
    (n.) a small bear that eats bushes and leaves.

    Delivered Woman

    Hot 5 years ago

    A woman is in the delivery room giving birth, the doctor tells her to push. She does and the baby's head pops out. The doctor says, "Oh! Your baby has slanted eyes." To which she replies "Yeah I heard them Chinese men were pretty good, so I decided to give them a try.
    The doctor shrugs it off and tells her to push again. This time the baby's body comes out. "Holy Shit, your baby has a white body," the doctor says. "Yeah I heard them white men were pretty good so I decided to give them a try," she said.
    The doctor shrugs it off again and tells her to push again and that will be it. So she does and the legs come out. "Holy Shit! Your baby has black legs," the doctor said. "Yeah I heard them black men were pretty good so I decided to give them a try," she said.
    So the doctor shrugs it off again and ties the umbilical cord and slaps the baby on the ass, it starts to cry. The doctor turns to the woman and asks, "How more...

    A little koala bear wanders into a whorehouse. He climbs the stairs and finds a door open. He goes in to the room to find a naked prostitute asleep on the bed. He quickly climbs into the bed and begins performing oral sex on the prostitute. She wakes up shocked and sees this koala bear going down on her, and she decides that since it feels so good she'll let him finish. The koala finishes, wipes his chin, climbs off the bed and heads for the door. The prostitute jumps up and yells at him "Hey, you have to pay for that". The koala shrugs and continues to head for the door. The prostitute yells at him again, "Hey you have to pay for that. I'm a prostitute". She gets up and pulls a dictionary off a shelf and shows the koala the definition. PROSTITUTE (n) a person receiving payment for sexual services. The koala shrugs, takes the dictionary and turns the pages to the definition of koala bear. KOALA (n.) a small bear that eats bushes and leaves.

    Saddam Hussain goes to hell and the devil is waiting there and he isnt in the best of moods, he look to Mr. Hussian and says "well well well look at who we have here, i am over booked so you have the choice of 3 doors and you MUST choose one of the doors, the door you choose will be your fate for all eternity!"
    Mr. Hussain nods and they procceed to the first door and open it and here is Aldof Hitler diving into a pool and resurfacing then diving back in again, Mr hussian looks and shakes his head " i cant swim" he says
    The devil shrugs and they procceed to the next door and here is Yassa Arafat hitting a rock with a pick over and over, Mr Hussian looks and shakes his head again " i have this bad shoulder and cant do heavy work" he says
    The Devil shrugs and they proceed to the final door the devil opens it and here is Bill Clinton laying spread eagled on a torture table with Monica Lewinsky ontop of him doing what she does best, Mr Hussian's more...

    A woman walks into a convenience store. She walks straight to the manager and asks, "Do you have any small notebooks?""Sorry," says the manager. "We're all out."The woman shrugs, and asks, "Well, do you have any mechanical pencils?""Nope, don't have that either," says the manager.The woman feels her stomach rumbling and asks, "Do you have Doritos? Nachos?"The manager shrugs, "Sorry.""Hmmph. How about Chapstick?" says the woman."Nope. Don't have that.""Well" the woman says, "If you don't have anything, why don't you close the store?"The manager shrugs, "Can't. Don't have the key."

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