Ships Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q: Why do French naval ships have glass bottoms? A: To see all their other ships.
Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the waves, a captain and his crew werein danger of being boarded by a pirate ship. As the crew became frantic, the captain bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!"The First Mate quickly retrieved the captain's red shirt, which thecaptain put on and led the crew to battle the pirate boarding party. Although some casualties occurred among the crew, the pirates were repelled. Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vesselssending boarding parties. The crew cowered in fear, but the captain, calmas ever bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!" And once again the battle wason, however, the Captain and his crew repelled both boardingparties, although this time more casualties occurred. Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recountingthe day's occurrences when an ensign looked to the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?" The Captain, more...
These are true stories from someone who works on a cruise ship.
1. (For this one, you have to know that it's really easy to get lost in the maze of corridors and elevators on a ship.) A lady asked if this elevator went to the front of the ship.
2. Two elderly women were staring at the numbers of the floors listed above the elevator door. When asked if they needed any assistance with something, one asked how they were going to be able to reach way up there to push the button for their floor.
3. A newlywed couple, after bringing their luggage into their cabin, stormed down to the desk. The bride was in tears, and the groom was red faced. When asked what the problem was, the groom started swearing at the desk clerk. "We booked a cabin with a view for our honeymoon, and all we get to see out the window is a parking lot!"
4. There was some mix-up with a woman's room. The clerk (or whatever they are called on ships) was trying to remedy more...
On what kind of ships do students study? Scholarships.
A captain of a pirate ship is overlooking the ocean when he sees another pirate ship coming twards them.
He tells his young assistant
" Hurry go downstairs and get my red shirt"
So he does.
Then the two ships begin to fight, and they won.
The next day they see another ship, and the captain tell his assistant " Hurry go get my red shirt"
so he did
And they fought and won again
Finally the young assistant asks " why is it that every time we go to battle you ask for your red shirt".
The captain replies" So if I get injured in battle the crew wont see and they wont worry about me, they will just keep fighting, i just dont wanna show weekness.
So they assistant was like okay.
The next day the assistant runs up the stairs yelling "captain, captain hurry you've got to see this"
So the Captain runs outside and looks around. more...
A magician performing on cruise ship and each night while performing his pet parrot keeps saying "its up his sleeve" " its in his pocket". "its in his shoe". "in his pants" etc and the magician was loosing his patience. one night while performing his tricks the ships boilers blew and the ship sank, the lucky magician was able to grab onto a ships table and float on the sea for a few days. the parrot in the mean time seemed no plussed and was looking quizically at the magician for a few days whilst drifting. and on the 4th day the parrots looks at his master and says "I give up... what did you do with the ship?"