Remarked Jokes / Recent Jokes

"Isn't it amazing," a reporter remarked to her editor after a press conference, "how politicians-jj never say anything yet always insist they've been misquoted?"

Three Englishmen were in a bar and spotted an Irishman. So, one of the Englishmen walked over to the Irishman, tapped him on the shoulder, and said, "Hey, I hear your St. Patrick was a drunken loser.""Oh really, hmm, didn't know that."Puzzled, the Englishman walked back to his buddies. "I told him St. Patrick was a loser, and he didn't care." The second Englishman remarked, "You just don't know how to set him off... watch and learn." So, the second Englishman walked over to the Irishman, tapped him on the shoulder and said, "Hey, I hear your St. Patrick was lying, cheating, idiotic, low-life scum!""Oh really, hmm, didn't know that."Shocked beyond belief, the Englishman went back to his buddies. "You're right. He's unshakable!"The third Englishman remarked, "Boys, I'll really tick him off... just watch." So the third Englishman walked over to the Irishman, tapped him on the shoulder and said, "I hear more...

A man took his young son to the bank with him to transact some business. Since it was lunchtime, there were a lot of people waiting their turn in the cattle chutes. They took their place in line directly behind a woman who was the epitome of corporate fashion.
She was wearing a designer executive business suit, and carrying an expensive leather brief case with a matching shoulder bag that had a pager clipped to it.
After several minutes in line, the boy remarked "Dad, that woman has the biggest thighs I have ever seen"
"Sshh. You shouldn't talk about people like that. You will hurt their feelings."
After several more minutes, the boy again remarked 'Dad, that woman has the biggest butt I have ever seen'
"I said not to talk about people like that. Just be quiet and it will be our turn shortly."
Just as he finished speaking, the woman's pager went off. beep .. beep .. beep .. beep
"LOOK OUT DAD, SHE'S BACKING UP!!!"

In my holiday to one Asian country, I happened to make a friendship with a local guy while I was drinking a softdrink Fanta. He speaks broken English, but I can fairly understand him. I offered him a softdrink, to that he choose Coco Cola.
The guy was showing some postcard of Mountains to me. They are really beautiful and just remarked "Fantastic!".
I also showed him some beautiful pictures of country side stored in my digital camera, where I have trekked. To my surprise! Can you guess what was his remark?...
He remarked "Coco Colastic!"

Once upon a time, there once was a traveling salesman who's wife was a well known sex addict. But because the man could not be home all of the time, he often worried about his wife's faithfullness. He had noticed that she had been eyeing the young neighbor boy who cut their lawn recently. So one day the man decided to try to do something about this. After work the man entered a sexual aid shop and asked the owner to show him the selection of dildos."Why yes, of course." said the owner, "We have a very wide selection."But after looking for quite a long time, the man just did not find anything that satisfied him."Well, maybe I have just what you need." remarked the owner, "Wait here."And with that, the owner ran into the back and started digging around for quite some time. After about twenty minutes, the owner finally came out carrying a strange, rectangular box with ancient writing all over it. He set the box down on the counter and opened it for more...

Three Englishmen were in a bar and spotted an Irishman. They decided to have fun with the man. One of the Englishmen walked over to the Irishman, tapped him on the shoulder, and said, "Hey, I hear your St. Patrick was a girly-man." "Oh really, hmm, didn't know that," said the Irishman.

Puzzled, the Englishman walked back to his buddies. "I told him St. Patrick was a girly-man, and he didn't care." The second Englishman remarked, "You just don't know how to set him off. .. watch and learn." So, the second Englishman walked over to the Irishman, tapped him on the shoulder and said, "Hey, I hear your St. Patrick was a transvestite!"

"Oh really, hmm, didn't know that."

Shocked beyond belief, the Englishman went back to his buddies. "You're right. He's unshakable!"

The third Englishman remarked, "Boys, I'll really tick him off. .. just watch." So the third Englishman more...

A JAT happened to be going to another village, holding his charpoy on his head.

A tailee (one who grinds oil seeds to extract oil), passing by, remarked;']at re jat, tere sar pe khat.' (Jat, oh Jat, your bed is on your head.)

Wanting to be one-up, the rustic Jat remarked,' Tailee, re Tailee, tere sar pe kohlu. ' (Tailee, oh Tailee, the oil grinder is on your head.)

The tailee retorted,' Bid na lagee'. (It doesn't rhyme.)

The Jat guffawed and replied,' Susre, bojh se to mara!' (So what! you'll die due to the weight on your head!)