Pirate Jokes / Recent Jokes

Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the waves, a captain and his crew were in danger of being boarded by a pirate ship. As the crew became frantic, the captain bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!"
The First Mate quickly retrieved the captain's red shirt, which the captain put on and led the crew to battle the pirate boarding party. Although some casualties occurred among the crew, the pirates were repelled. Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending boarding parties.
The crew cowered in fear, but the captain, calm as ever bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!"
Once again the battle was on, and once more, the Captain and his crew repelled both boarding parties, although this time more casualties occurred.
Weary from the battles, the men sat on deck that night recounting the day's occurrences when an ensign looked to the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the more...

Why are pirates pirates? Because they arrrrr!

Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the waves, a captain and his crew were in danger of being boarded by a pirate ship. As the crew became frantic, the captain bellowed to his First Mate, 'Bring me my red shirt!'
The First Mate quickly retrieved the captain's red shirt, which the captain put on and led the crew to battle the pirate boarding party. Although some casualties occurred among the crew, the pirates were repelled.
Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending boarding parties. The crew cowered in fear, but the captain, calm as ever bellowed, 'Bring me my red shirt!'
And once again the battle was on. However, the Captain and his crew repelled both boarding parties, though this time more casualties occurred.
Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's occurrences when an ensign looked to the Captain and asked, 'Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?'
The Captain, more...

Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the waves, a captain and his crew were in danger of being boarded by a pirate ship. As the crew became frantic, the captain bellowed to his First Mate, 'Bring me my red shirt!'The First Mate quickly retrieved the captain's red shirt, which the captain put on and led the crew to battle the pirate boarding party. Although some casualties occurred among the crew, the pirates were repelled.Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending boarding parties. The crew cowered in fear, but the captain, calm as ever bellowed, 'Bring me my red shirt!'And once again the battle was on. However, the Captain and his crew repelled both boarding parties, though this time more casualties occurred.Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's occurrences when an ensign looked to the Captain and asked, 'Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?'The Captain, giving the ensign a look more...

Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the waves, a captain and his crew were in danger of being boarded by a pirate ship.
As the crew became frantic, the captain bellowed to his first mate, "Bring me my red shirt!"
The first mate quickly retrieved the captain's red shirt, which the captain put on and led the crew to battle the pirate boarding party.
Although some casualties occurred among the crew, the pirates were repelled. The men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's events when an ensign looked to the captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?"
The captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, exhorted, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show blood, and thus you men will continue to fight unafraid."
The men sat in silence, marveling at the courage of such a man. The next morning, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending boarding more...

Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the waves, a captain and his crew werein danger of being boarded by a pirate ship. As the crew became frantic, the captain bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!"The First Mate quickly retrieved the captain's red shirt, which thecaptain put on and led the crew to battle the pirate boarding party.Although some casualties occurred among the crew, the pirates were repelled.Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vesselssending boarding parties. The crew cowered in fear, but the captain, calmas ever bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!" And once again the battle wason, however, the Captain and his crew repelled both boardingparties, although this time more casualties occurred.Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recountingthe day's occurrences when an ensign looked to the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?"The Captain, more...

The Perfect Halloween Costume
A bald man with a wooden leg gets invited to a Halloween party. He doesn't know what costume to wear to hide his head and his leg so he writes to a costume company to explain his problem.
A few days later he received a parcel with the following note:
Dear Sir,
Please find enclosed a pirate's outfit. The spotted handkerchief will cover your bald head and, with your wooden leg, you will be just right as a pirate.
Very truly yours,
Acme Costume Co.
The man thinks this is terrible because they have emphasized his wooden leg and so he writes a letter of complaint. A week goes by and he receives another parcel and a note, which says:
Dear Sir,
Please find enclosed a monk's costume. The long robe will cover your wooden leg and, with your bald head, you will really look the part.
Very truly yours,
Acme Costume Co.
Now the man is really upset since they have gone from emphasizing his wooden leg to emphasizing his more...