Mushroom Jokes

From Harper’s Magazine:
Amount of pizza eaten each day in U. S. (acres): 75
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Found on the seal of a bag of bagels:
NEW
IMPROVED
Made the old
fashioned way
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Sign in a restaurant:
“We reserve the right to serve refuse to anyone. ”
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Heard on a radio station.
What did the female mushroom say about the male mushroom?
“He’s a real fun guy [fungi]. ”
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Q: Ever wonder about people who pay $2 for a bottle of Evian water?
A: Just spell “Evian” backwards!

Editor's Note: This is kind of long, and actually considering it's an awful lot like many conversations I've had, not as funny as it might be. But, heck, enjoy it anyhow...

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PeaceNik: Why did you say we are we invading Iraq?

WarMonger: We are invading Iraq because it is in violation of security council resolution 1441. A country cannot be allowed to violate security council resolutions.

PN: But I thought many of our allies, including Israel, were in violation of more security council resolutions than Iraq.

WM: It's not just about UN resolutions. The main point is that Iraq could have weapons of mass destruction, and the first sign of a smoking gun could well be a mushroom cloud over NY.

PN: Mushroom cloud? But I thought the weapons inspectors said Iraq had no nuclear weapons.

WM: Yes, but biological and chemical weapons are the issue.

PN: But I thought Iraq did not have any long more...

a mushroom walks into a bar and asks the bar tender for a drink, the bartender said no. the mushroom asked why and the bartender replied " because youre a mushroom." The mushroom looked at the bartender and said "yeah, but im a fun guy." Get it a mushroom is a fungi...

From Reuters News Service:
Canada's Ottawa Citizen newspaper recently printed a recipe for Chanterelle Lemon Pasta in its food section, calling for one cup of Chanterelle mushrooms. They even provided a helpful photograph so amateur mushroom hounds could find their own growing in the wild. Unfortunately, the photograph instead showed Destroying Angels, which are deadly when eaten.

what do you call a mushroom with a 12" willy?
A-fun-guy to be with!